Whether you are surrounded by a crowd or all alone in a room, we all deal with the lonely monster. He creeps up on all of us from time to time. Obviously, being single, i am alone a lot. I have tried to allow my alone times to be special times between the Lord and I. I have grown to treasure "our" times alone. I have been warned that this will be an obstacle when i get married (not sure when or if that will happen), to learn to share "my" alone time.
Last night i felt a shadow of loneliness float across my blue sky; it is dark sometimes and i honestly don't like it. As with any battle, we have to recognize it as a battle, and hide behind our armor. Sometimes i do it faster and better than others. Of late, though, i am learning something about myself - the needs of the heart, mind and soul. God said Himself it is not good for man to be alone. I think when He used the word "man" He was referring to mankind - men and women. So, it is not good for women to be alone either. We need people in our lives - we need significant connections. Everyone longs to feel accepted, chosen, and "at home." I heard a high-profile couple talking on tv once about their "story" and one of them said, "being with him i felt like i was coming home." I loved that expression!
I know i am pretty independant but in the last year or so, I see this independance shedding from my profile...and the reality of the deep hunger in me to connect, belong and find a place to rest: home. Of course I dream of falling in love with a wonderful man of God, marrying, having a home and kids....but for now, i remind myself that the Lord is my husband, my resting place. He does provide me wonderful ways to connect with people and walk in contentment most of the time. But, today, i have to remind myself of Psalm 84. It has long been one of my favorite passages - one part of it speaks of finding our resting place...
My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.
Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they are ever praising you.