Trekking with Me

Am I really on the other side?  The air is fresher, my legs ache less, my arms freer, and my mind more clear.  The gravel crunches under me as I trod along, my feet moving in their unique, steady stride, even the ground is less resistant.  My hands grip the straps which come over my shoulders holding my now lighter pack.   My backdrop is painted with ominous clouds dancing in the sky.  Far-off drums the storm, the shouts therein fading.  Tossing a gaze behind, I gasp: the colors of deep purples, maroons, grays, oranges and pinks plum, mysterious with beauty and treasure.   Filled with wonder, I turn my gaze.  I'm thankful to see the bright sky ahead.  Remaining drops of rain wiggle and fall away with each new step.  In my pocket a few small stones roll about, smooth and rough; my thumb and fore-fingers feel for them. Each from my not-so favorite places, albeit significant.  Have I really come through, to this new place? ...

It's Friday night, and I am home, and I hardly know what to do with myself. You see... I am so happy to be home because the last 2 months, I believe I have been busy almost every single weekend: weddings, trips, retreats, guests staying with me - busy, busy, busy!  So much so, my house, my laundry, my yard have pretty much gone by the wayside. I am feeling that horrible feeling most females can identify with: I AM A MESS because my house, my yard, my life seems to be a pile of disorderliness! I literally started having a meltdown this week, my to-do list was growing, and I was feeling weak and overwhelmed... all because I have not had time to take care of me. Yeah... i can hear some of you mom's of young kids saying, "I can't even remember the last time I took care of me..." Well... being single, remember... I am the only one who takes care of everything... even if "everything" doesn't include kids and a husband: I still have to pay the bills, ...

"Coming home is always wonderful and lonely..." I just messaged that to a dear friend on Facebook. Here I sit, mid-morning, feeling droggy (i made up that word) as I look over the next few days.  My house is cool (thank you LORD for a/c!), Sasha is snoozing on the rug at my feet, and it's just a gift of quietness... and alone-ness. I have just spent the past five days traveling to Florida, visiting family, enjoying time off to go, visit, and connect with those I don't see as often as I would like.  An odd stomach bug attacked while away so I have returned a bit more drained of energy than normal.  Though the lonely-feeling is normal; my house is covering only me, not having a housemate makes it feel very lonely.  So, I am praying for God to fill my yellow room with just the right personality! Yesterday, on my return drive, I was delighted to catch a sermon.  I think it was John McArthur, which I have not actually ever heard before, though his name soun...

When one works a long full week, Saturday is always a welcome gift.  I pretty much face-planted into the weekend.  It was a long, not-bad, hard week.  I celebrated by watching two episodes of Foyle's War and popping an herbal sleep supplement before finding slumber last night.   Not sure if it was the effect of the supplement or if I was just that tired, but I slept hard, even with Kitty's 2:30AM food demand.  I came to consciousness around 7:30, knowing I had to be on my way to an appointment by 8:30.  I stumbled out of the house by 8:27 still feeling in a fog and not fully conscious.  I brought Sasha along as I felt some guilt in neglecting her and wanted to go for a jaunt in a local trail on my way home from town.   All in all, my first two hours of Saturday were spent doing things I normally find delight and joy yet as I stomped through the local woods, I was anything but delighted or joyed.  An all too familiar rant of complain ...

Because it's May and I have not posted one single thing in a few months, I figured it was time to blog. School is almost over, literally five more days of frizzy with pre-adolescents.  One look into every teachers eyes and you will see that we are all staring at the finish line.  This leg has taken every ounce of energy in all of us.  The kids are so ready to be free from school, books, teacher's dirty looks and visa versa. As this last week finally arrives, I am so thankful for the year behind, that victory and joy was experienced, and much was learned.  Honestly, I can barely wait to sift through and apply the lessons I learned from the blood, sweat and tears of the path behind me to the year in front of me.  AND I am greatly anticipating the weeks of summer in between to rest, revamp, reconnect, retreat, refresh and refill my depleted mind and soul and NOT think about school! Something I want out of this summer is a special time with the Lord.  I h...

It's Valentine's day, a day to celebrate love and relationships.  From my red couch to yours, here are a few of my thoughts and endeavors on Valentine's day: First, I am enjoying another snow day, yes our third day at home because of the massive winter storm.  I am trying not to eat myself out of my house.  Funny how my appetite explodes when gray clouds cover the sky, a chill hits the air and activities are limited to movies, homework and reading.  Not that I mind that... Today, I woke with a peaceful happy heart and mind.  Joy gushed up upon seeing the sunshine glisten over the snow, especially after two days of cloud cover and lockdown.  I am suffering a bit of cabin fever so I was ready to move!  I cooked up my favorite pumpkin pancakes for breakfast.  This was a good morning for pancakes; I did not even burn them! Kitty and Sasha are enjoying me being home.  Kitty is still not use to these colder temperatures. ...

I can't believe it's only been a week since last Monday - see previous post and you will understand.  Funny how time can seen to go so fast and yet seem so slow and long or full and more than it actually was: it seems like a month ago!  Maybe I just mentally and emotionally distance myself from humiliating experiences.  My own form of denial? ;-) Update on my Kitchen:  testing a stain color, all cabinet doors have been sanded and wiped down, last of the paint over and around the kitchen window and shelf area is being extremely difficult to remove.  My goal is to have the cabinets stained, and put all back together by the weekend.  The rest can and will need to wait a few months... but it will get finished, Lord willing, by Christmas. So... I have been inspired through a fellow blogger's series on singleness.   Not an unfamiliar topic: I could have easily written " Times I hate singleness " - in fact I may come up with my own post of reasons soon....

Right this moment my arms feel like rags, my kitchen looks like a well used workshop with old paint scrapping covering the ugly linoleum, exposed shelves as at least half the cabinet doors are propped up along the walls and bottom cabinet area.   It's a mess. I am worn out.  I am pushing harder to finish this project before I start up with my school year responsibilities in a week!  (A Week!!) I would like to have my kitchen reassembled, maybe even with a new coat of stain on them by next weekend??? My best helper is showing up Monday, hopefully: Dad, my hero. I have had some unusual circumstances this week... On Monday, just as I was unscrewing cabinet hardware and prepping to brush on the paint remover,  I heard a nice friendly knock is at my front door.  A comfortably dressed young man in a bright orange shirt was standing on my porch.  I greeted him, he politely introduced himself.  He had a few clipboard size items in his hands and sinc...