Piles or People

It's Friday night, and I am home, and I hardly know what to do with myself.

You see... I am so happy to be home because the last 2 months, I believe I have been busy almost every single weekend: weddings, trips, retreats, guests staying with me - busy, busy, busy!  So much so, my house, my laundry, my yard have pretty much gone by the wayside. I am feeling that horrible feeling most females can identify with: I AM A MESS because my house, my yard, my life seems to be a pile of disorderliness!

I literally started having a meltdown this week, my to-do list was growing, and I was feeling weak and overwhelmed... all because I have not had time to take care of me. Yeah... i can hear some of you mom's of young kids saying, "I can't even remember the last time I took care of me..."

Well... being single, remember... I am the only one who takes care of everything... even if "everything" doesn't include kids and a husband: I still have to pay the bills, go to work, do laundry, clean the house, keep the yard, cook, grocery shop and watch my budget, take care of my car, etc, etc, etc.  Okay, so we all can learn a lesson or two about balance... my heart goes out to single parents, that is for sure.  I don't even know how they do it!

All-in-all... I am so very blessed!  Blessed to have so many blessings to juggle!  Trips, celebrations, community group and church, a home, clothes, food and friends to fill my weekends; the mess and disorder may get me by the throat at times, but you know what... it's okay.  It will be cleaned, washed, put in order, and dealt with... and it will wait for me patiently, though it may grow a layer of mold or dust may pile up as I do other things; people are more important than being perfect and pristine.  Right?

I have to remind myself of this; one of my dearest friends I grew up showed me how precious this concept is and fleshed it out.  She is the model of loving others and being with them - all there - and not letting the pile of dishes distract her from others.  She said once, "it's(the pile of dishes) not going anywhere, it will be there when I get to it..."  what a gift.  Thank You Becky...

So, I often call that to mind when the parent in my head starts ranting and raving and I start reacting to that voice. 

Even so, I am so thankful for a free weekend at home.  After getting home - I fell out on my bed and slept for over an hour (it's been a week!) - I got up, and cleared and mowed the back yard, burned brush, and generally got a head start on my list.  I relish the idea of enjoying my beautiful backyard patio, with the sunrise, the early signs of spring, coffee, and Jesus in the morning; I can hardly wait!

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