Trekking with Me

Happy Christmas to you! This is for those, like me, who may have woke not with scurrying tiny toes and bounces of little tots excited to see the morning light of day, but to a quiet, stillness to this holiday morning. I noticed an extra stillness this morning, as a little part of my "family" is not present.  I had to say goodbye to my little precious kitty yesterday.  My "Pud" (Puddie cat) was a gift of God's love to me for 17 years.  She was given to me in 2001, as a gift from one of my sweet students who learned that I lived alone and felt I needed the comfort of a pet.  My student accompanied me to the humane society animal shelter to pick out the perfect little purr box:  this little tortoise calico kitty grabbed my attention when she swatted at my hair from a crate she was housed in.  She was laying in a twisted position so to reach out her playful paw under the gate, seeming to say, "Hey! Pick me!"  Her paw was her trademark. That little ki...

So this past month I embarked upon an adventure: I have been been doing a body-reset program called " Whole30 ".  The program is very intense, with straight-forward guidelines: basically you have NO sugar, No grains, and No dairy, for 30 days. When I first realized what it was about and what you were suppose to do, I was like " NO WAY! I could not do that! "  Yet, always the cheerleader for health and holistic living, I proclaimed to my friend who was saying she was going to do it, " I will do it with you to support you! " September 30, after 10PM I ate my last 3 Tim-Tam cookies, fully dunked in a creamy cup of tea, saying a sweet farewell to sugar, grains and dairy-laden drinks for my next 30 days!! And what an adventure it has been.... Typical Whole30 breakfast: I have always eaten eggs and coffee,  but now I was omitting cheese, toast, and cream!! ...The first 48 hours I experienced flu-like aches, crankiness, headaches, as my body screamed...

It's Friday night, and I am home, and I hardly know what to do with myself. You see... I am so happy to be home because the last 2 months, I believe I have been busy almost every single weekend: weddings, trips, retreats, guests staying with me - busy, busy, busy!  So much so, my house, my laundry, my yard have pretty much gone by the wayside. I am feeling that horrible feeling most females can identify with: I AM A MESS because my house, my yard, my life seems to be a pile of disorderliness! I literally started having a meltdown this week, my to-do list was growing, and I was feeling weak and overwhelmed... all because I have not had time to take care of me. Yeah... i can hear some of you mom's of young kids saying, "I can't even remember the last time I took care of me..." Well... being single, remember... I am the only one who takes care of everything... even if "everything" doesn't include kids and a husband: I still have to pay the bills, ...

My soul is so grieved over the loss of Robin Williams. It seems so odd that I would feel such grief over someone I did not personally know.  I know many grieve this loss, and deeply so. So this morning I stopped and asked, why does this affect me so? He connected with my soul. There was something in Robin Williams , the characters he brought to life, that connected with something in me.  He made us laugh indeed, but his dramatic performances also made us feel, there was such an authenticity in his characters.   Some of my favorite films were Patch Adams , Good Will Hunting , Awakenings .   Some of his roles were not exactly where I stand on my values and convictions, so I can't endorse everything ethically and morally.  Sadly and obviously, the spiritual state and direction of our culture is expressed in the arts.  Yet as an actor, he was able to embody and connect us to the cry of the human soul; he voiced, questioned, made us feel, ask and...

I snapped this this past week as I was sitting in traffic downtown.  I think it may have been on Thursday, the first day of Spring.  I had my sunroof open, soaking in the wonderful warm weather, blue skies and new season.  I did not mind the 5:00 traffic jam as it let me appreciate the earliest of blossoms on these trees.  I shot this through my sunroof.... straight up into the sky.  

Happy New Year!!! My usual habit of posting something on the new year's day or eve was debunked this year!  I was hit with a heavy malady causing all creative energy and desire to seep out of my brain and body. So, my fresh start has had a little drag!  I am still dragging a bit but almost up to full speed.  I lost my voice in the midst of it all.  Monday I went to work and squeaked my way through: it was a good day anyhow.   I was glad to see my students and get rolling again! No real new resolutions this year, just the typical get healthier and try to make that 10K again this year. I feel like I am on a new plateau of sorts, happy for the recent breakthrough, joy in my work and balanced in my being; experiencing greater freedom, peace and joy.  Like that last lap after swimming hard: it's time to relax and breath a bit before leaving the pool. As I swish through the waters of my memories, I thought it would be nice to remember some of my favorite ...

This week I had two different doctor appointments: one with the eye doc and the other with the dentist. Both made me HAPPY!  Just call me weird. Turning 40 has flipped some kind of switch!  Over the last year or so, I have had more and more difficulty reading names on rosters or my Bible.  I have been using my online Bible reading guide, reading the Word from a computer screen makes it bigger, but seems a lot less holy than holding my Bible!  It finally got so bad that I went running to the eye doctor. I will admit, I am a little bit excited to get new reading lenses in my new scripts; I may even post a self portrait with my new glasses when they come.  I have new contacts too, and my doc recommend I simply buy a cheap pair of reading glasses to have when I am wearing my contacts.  I can't wait!  Seriously! I have been straining to see for over a year and now, problem solved! Yah!! My second medical visit this week was with my dentist.  I ...

Right this moment my arms feel like rags, my kitchen looks like a well used workshop with old paint scrapping covering the ugly linoleum, exposed shelves as at least half the cabinet doors are propped up along the walls and bottom cabinet area.   It's a mess. I am worn out.  I am pushing harder to finish this project before I start up with my school year responsibilities in a week!  (A Week!!) I would like to have my kitchen reassembled, maybe even with a new coat of stain on them by next weekend??? My best helper is showing up Monday, hopefully: Dad, my hero. I have had some unusual circumstances this week... On Monday, just as I was unscrewing cabinet hardware and prepping to brush on the paint remover,  I heard a nice friendly knock is at my front door.  A comfortably dressed young man in a bright orange shirt was standing on my porch.  I greeted him, he politely introduced himself.  He had a few clipboard size items in his hands and sinc...

Recently I have been reading in the Book of Luke, and just the other day I was in chapter 23: Jesus' trial, the walk to "the place of the skull" and the crucifixion.  It's interesting what Luke includes in his gospel.  One of the few who includes the part that a man named Simon carried the cross for Jesus.  In this moment, women who loved Jesus were weeping for him as he followed the path.  What Jesus did and said caught my eye as I read through the account: Jesus turning to them said,   “Daughters of Jerusalem, stop weeping for Me, but weep for yourselves and for your children." " Weep for yourselves... ?"   Jesus knew the time of judgement was coming.  Jesus knew the time was short.  Jesus knew what His destiny was... and "for the joy set before Him, He endured the cross..."   His trial, his pain, and his death was only temporary! This past weekend I listened to some messages by Francis Chan ; he shared the perspective God had burned ...

I want to remember this List. I feel like I have been doing a LOT of squirming lately.  I am feeling pretty uncomfortable.  Big things are feeling shakey: my work (though I am VERY thankful for daily work) is not stable, an insignificant income.  I feel a lack, an obvious leak in my bank account.  With that anxiety rises as other buttons are being pushed - a little disconnectedness, a bit of aimlessness even though very busy days, fatigue that brings on a weak immune system causing a sinus cold laying me flat for longer than I enjoy.  Thoughts succomb to physical, emotional and mental weakness that sound very much like, "what am I doing? What is my purpose?" I hit a hard place in my soul, a place where my grip on things and places, people and money is exposed; an utter desperation rises for security, significance, and purpose.  How quickly my flesh seeks comfort in temporary thi...

HEY!  It's Friday!  There must be something wired into the Day of Friday.  There is a fresh energy in Friday.  It may have something to do with it being the end of the week, we have two days ahead of us that are free.  Weekends are wonderful :-)  Even when it is booked with activities, they are activities usually chosen, not assigned.  Anyhow, I have a full weekend ahead... it should be an adventure. This morning I am happy over Spring... it's in the air! I had to laugh at myself earlier this week.  I have been a little stressed, on the anxious side of things, because of money.  Ugh.  I am so thankful God takes care of me, abundantly, and yet sometimes the financial monger sneaks up behind me and bites me.  I limp about for a few days or weeks, I begin to have a complaining, whining tone to my voice, my sleep becomes fretful... and well, I wonder what is wrong with me.  This past week after one particularly bad night of sle...

The sun is shining today.  It's cold for this southern, Florida blood gal, so each ray of sunlight gives me hope that Spring will come.  This morning as I drove the back roads to work, I felt a little dismal in my soul: the trees are naked, the sky was a little on the grey side, it's been overcast, rainy and dreary a few days too many for my taste.  Though I enjoy the change of seasons as opposed to the lack in Florida, I don't relish that winter seems to drag on.  I know blossoms and buds will soon enough burst but I just kind of felt the weariness of winter this morning.  I have other reasons for feeling a little on the down side of things today, that is just life sometimes.  But, I am having a good hair day. (smile)  I am enjoying my sub assignment today, though the first class viewed a movie that was emotionally moving. That happened a few weeks ago in another class who watched "Blindside": though I had seen that one before, somehow,...

It's been a beautiful October Saturday.  I sure needed a Saturday.  A friend asked what my average week was like, and I had to admit an "average" week is non-existant at this point.  My new normal is still working itself out.  I am so grateful for work, and enjoy the variety of my days immensely, yet I would not mind a little more stability.  How thankful I am that God is unchanging!  He is my Rock, a sweet refuge to which I continually go.   Today I stayed home most all day and enjoyed a quiet Saturday.  This week I read an article that reminded me that the Scriptures tell us to live quiet lives, by  Donald Miller.   Do a word search on "quiet" and it may surprise you.  So today I embraced the quietness of having the day to myself.  After walking the dogs, and spending time in the Word, I started in on my Saturday housekeeping needs.  It was so nice outside, I opened every window I could: some of the windows in m...

I was recently blessed with a trip up to New England to celebrate completing my M.A.  My dear friends,  Tracy and Jamison , treated me to a trip so we could all be together again.  We had a wonderful time together and only wish we could have squeezed in a few more things.  We spent most of our time in Connecticut ("Connect - I - Cut" ~Thanks Tracy!), of which the capital is Hartford (a fact I will never forget thanks to my seventh grade social studies teacher).   Everytime we said "Hartford," I started quoting, "In Hartford hurricanes hardly ever happen..." in an ever-so-british accent.  (Name that movie!)   We also had a little surprise thrown in from sweet Tracy: one night in Newport, RI.  Everywhere we went I was in awe of the deep luscious foliage and the brilliant hues of the waters.  Add to that, sailing related paraphernalia was everywhere, my sailing soft spot was itching something fierce. Here are a few moments I captured...