Trekking with Me

Man it's been a long while since I have blogged.  I have been in survival mode, fighting through, keep'n my gaze high as I can, sloughing the mud off and out of my eyes, and trusting that there was some reason for this trench.  Things have been shifting in me in the last few weeks.... I am starting to dream again.  I am starting to gaze through the grey and see sunshine and possibilities in the clouds!  Yet, I believe it's more than mere possibilities, I believe its the edges of the reality of who and what I am. I have learned a lot.  God has given me mooch-o much, that I can't hoard - hoarding kills life.  So, I want to share all HE has given me and proclaim that HE DOES give life abundantly.  He has created us to live... to glorify and honor our Maker. That is what I intend to do, starting now. Since you are trekking with me, you have seen my journey, my "a-ha" moments and dismal days.  I have fought many years to "find" my purpose and c...

Hey, did you know its International Happy day? I did not even know there was such a thing.  You either? Well, I am glad I am not the only one. It's been a while since I have written a noteworthy post; I know you all were enthralled with the snow day pictures and the New Year's update.  Yet I have not posted anything from the inner workings of Tammie in a while. Mostly, its because I have been run over by a full time job called teaching.  My days are very long, my work demanding in every way, and the end of most of my days look like me crashing on the couch five seconds after walking in my front door before going to bed a few hours later; very non-typical Tammie. Sailing is my favorite :-) So, I figure it was time for a heart-to-heart post: What is God doing post.  Simple, non-detailed answer: A LOT. So here's to keep'n it real: First, it's been a very hard year (school timeframe).  The "aha" moment for me in the Fall was, "it's a...

Summer is approaching.  I have two weeks of teaching left.  FYI - God blessed me with a long term assignment working in a middle school classroom.  He takes care of me like that! These past few weeks have been pretty good, then this most previous week HIT.  It was about the longest week of my life, or it seemed like it.  My students seemed to forget the normal procedures; chaos broke out in my classroom like a bad case of teenage acne.  By Wednesday I arrived home in quite a tizzy. As I tried to see through my flustered emotions, it was fuzzy as to the actual root of my frustration.  It was more than a crazy classroom of pre-adolescence!  Realistically I had been trying to hold a rising issue under water with one hand. Then I realized... It's MAY: May is NOT my favorite month as stated in previous  posts.    I am facing some major shifting in my relationships.   Friends and acquaintances that I had not the time...

Ever been anxious about something?  Anxiousness is really a vague cloud of worry over something you can't do anything about, or even positively name: it is a cloud of fogginess!  Fear wrapped in a desire to control something that you cannot control. Yesterday a thought was pestering me something fierce.  A vulnerable nerve was exposed and being teased with an action.  At first, I started playing with the idea, but just like a little child being teased with something he/she cannot have, it started to get all frustrated, flustered and worked up. I began to pray through it, and even called a friend to check my thoughts out with her.  It is great to have Jesus-loving friends who love you enough to remind you you are weak and about to do something stupid if you give in to it! I did not actually speak to her but left a message, just asking for prayer. After hanging up, I went about my day which involved some hard hot work in the yard.  It's great therapy, p...

About to take off again to our Ladies retreat this weekend.  Last year, I was  drenched in goodness  from the LORD.  I anticipate another blessed weekend this year. Much has transpired in a year.  Overflowing joy, blessings, unexpected experiences, heart ache, disappointment, growth, transformation... and it's only been a year!  Interesting the way the journey has unfolded. I remember last spring my soul was overflowing with fresh insight, deep joy and excitement.  Through the pain in the later half of the year, God brought about deeper understanding, greater freedom and clearer focus upon my identity in Christ.  James 1:2-4 could have been the banner over my head late Fall '11 and Winter '11-'12. It's a good place to be, I value the lessons experienced.  I truly "...lack nothing!" in Christ. Lately I have been preparing to attend a conference  about pastoral care and ministry.   The material I have been reading has both cha...

In the last few days I have rubbed raw some places on my skin, how acutely painful they are right now.   Interestingly, my heart is a bit raw right now too. "He is close to the brokenhearted..."  Yes, He is. I think of a few dear friends I know right now, who are raw on the inside.  One couple lost a son in the past few months, one man is in a storm, another is in a time of testing.  God is in each of these situations, working, answering, acting through the pain. I was struck as I was listening to a song on my nano, based on the verse found in Jeremiah 33, ‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’ I wrote this verse in my journal several weeks ago.  I was pressing into the LORD; my heart longed for him to answer me in a certain way.  As I listened to the song, I mused: God has answered me.  He is showing me great and mighty things.  Things I did not know.  Not necessarily the ...

Yesterday while I was sitting in church drinking in a profoundly challenging message from John 6, something about it revealed to me the deep need we have to see our need for Jesus.  We so desperately try to hide, cover up, mask our depravity, our imperfections. Jesus was revealing what salvation, what truth, what relationship with God requires.  You must unmask yourself, in a sense, to know your need of Him. Unmasking is scary.  It is revealing! (profound huh!?)   Yet, only in unmasking ourselves can we enter into true intimacy.  This is a deep, very personal lesson I am experiencing.  I did not even realize how hard I have tried to hold a mask over myself especially in regards to human relationships.  The problem with a mask is it keeps people out... it blocks intimacy.  Love.  Relationship.... The things that we were created for.... God longs for this with us... He created us for His glory: for relationship with Him.  Sin, a...

I know Aaron... he and his family would visit over the summers of my growing up years. He is so gifted, his heart is true blue. I love his whole family... God Bless You Aaron!! I love this song; Hope has always been a "favorite" word of mine... something me and the Lord know... like, He would put the word in front of me and wink in His heavenly presence me... so this song... sings what my heart has been singing for years and years and it is more alive today than ever!!! I love Him... He is My confidence and My Joy and LIFE. Enjoy, and May your Hope be in Him, the unshakeable ROCK!

Good News I have a New Computer... well, kind of. Bad News... my MAC died, literally... it bit the dust. I did not think MAC's could do that... but I guess nothing is invincible.  Remember, The Titanic: never forget it.  Nothing is invincible.  Except Jesus! So, I have to share... I feel so completely covered by Him.  You see... I believe it was a God-thing that my computer died.  I had been feeling this growing guilt in my soul over how I was using my computer too much for... nothing.  Wasting time, energy... His Time, His Stuff.  I was feeling a serious... addiction! I could not make myself stop! So... I asked Him to help me.  July 4, my computer died.  At first, I felt a little anxiety... I had been working on school stuff! But then, I believe His Spirit moved over my mind and heart and I heard a thought rise.  "I am not going to waste emotional energy over this, God's is over it. I will rest in His Care and believe it will be a...

I read this chapter this morning in my quiet time, and I had a *star* and a date(08/20/08) beside this verse: "But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded." How timely to read it again, today, as just last night I went to bed with some futile thoughts - knowing they were not the Truth, I laid them down at His feet and went to sleep, also knowing, I was very physically spent and that can often contribute to futile thinking.   I Love  that He is Faithful, He does not, will not fail, and He is my Strength!  This is the perfect verse for me to memorize this next two weeks.  Want to join me?

Isaiah 58:13-14 You must  observe the Sabbath rather than doing anything you please on my holy day. You must look forward to the Sabbath and treat the Lord’s holy day with respect. You must treat it with respect by refraining from your normal activities, and by refraining from your selfish pursuits and from making business deals. Then you will find joy in your relationship to the Lord, and I will give you great prosperity, and cause crops to grow on the land I gave to your ancestor Jacob.” Know for certain that the Lord has spoken.

I had a little revelation this week.  A whisper from the Spirit, from the Father, and it delighted my heart: Yes, my soul, find rest in God: My hope comes from him. Truly He is my rock and my salvation He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all time, you people; Pour out your hearts to him, For God is our refuge. Psalm 62:5-8 Christ is both a Person AND a Place.  See!?  "He is my fortress... He is ... my refuge." You see, sometimes we don't have a peaceful haven to escape to - a physical place.  I think of the story of The Hiding Place when they were taken prisoners into the Nazi prisons, or if you are a young mother who can't even take a shower without a little one calling or crying your name.  (yes, i know those are two extremes) Your quiet times are few and far between.  Even when there is no earthly, physical place we can go and shut the door, He i...

In the last few months I have been reading a few Ted Dekker books, namely,  The Martyr's Song Series.   Dekker is a breathtaking, heart-pounding thrill writer, so hold on if you begin reading his stuff.  Sometimes I just had to put the book down to catch my breath!  Definitely a great read, but what I like more than the fast pace, intriguing story lines is what he does with the Unseen.  Dekker, in a very unique and powerful way, pulls back the earthly veil and reveals the Spiritual realm.  I found my vision sharpen and my heart quicken as I saw  the Spiritual, the Unseen, the "things above" through his writing.  This is making a difference in my real life.  Basically, seeing the reality of God in my daily walk. Paul says in Colossians 3:2, " Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." and in 2 Corinthians 4, "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is ...

What a delightful morning.  God has met me in His Word. Period. Following my Bible reading guide, I had to finish up yesterday's assignment: Mark 14-16.  His Crucifixion. They hated Him because He was not who they thought God would be... they had their own version of what God was like, would be like, how He would come and save... Jesus was not him . So... they mocked Him, they beat Him.... they killed Him. Because He was not what they expected....  that could have been me.  Oh Father forgive me... "Oh God, Oh God... why have you forsaken me?"  Jesus Christ,  God came into that darkness... for me. Even when I walk through desert, dry, dead places... HE is with Me, with a prepared table full of goodness and love, anointing my head and filling my cup!! Oh How Good He is to me!   All from Mark 14-16; Psalms 21-23. Oh How I love Him.  My Cup Overflows. Somehow the song of the birds even seem more joyous this morning... Oh Glorious G...

Happy Wednesday! Tomorrow I get to get on a PLANE!! I am a little excited.  Now..., to get a few loads of laundry done, install my new oven, clean my room, plan for my pets care.... the list continues but I will stop there.  I am looking forward to a few days with my dear sister (in heart), Sue and disengaging from "my world" here.  Not that "my world" is bad, I have just been running on overdrive and going away will offer a nice reprieve. :-) I may not even take my computer... maybe....we'll see. I wanted to blog about something God did last week.   He is so incredibly amazing.  :-) You know how it goes, you find yourself in a season of joy, happiness, strength.  Or at least that was what I have been experiencing since December-ish.  It's as if God opened up a joy window in heaven and deposited some on my heart/head: it's glorious! Yet, if you have been trekkin' with me here, this hasn't just "happened" - He has been doing som...

I have come to a new understanding why being still is imperative to hearing from the LORD.   Enter Jake and Owen and their momma, Faith, and Eric, the dad.  I have the blessing of caring for Jake and Owen a few hours every week.  Jake is a special needs little guy, with autism and Owen is too much for words: how these little guys have captured my heart.   Faith with Jake :-) *Melts my heart* Over the past few months I have grown to admire and respect Faith and Eric both in their beautiful marriage and in their parenting.  Faith and Eric exemplify to me some very rare and very noteworthy parenting skills.  A few weeks ago as I observed Faith correcting one of the boys, I noted how gentle, yet firmly and quietly she disciplined her little boy;  I also noted how quickly he yielded - and he is only two!   Afterwards I commented upon her actions with O; she shared with me she had learned whispering from her gentle husband, Eric.  She said i...

My heart and mind and Spirit  have been stirred in the last week on account of my memory verse this first half of January.  How do I expect, see, believe... God's Favor is on me?  He is giving me a Faith Booster Shot! It started back in December as I was reading and re-reading Luke 1-2 every day or so.  The whole passage sparkled  with life to me.  I was so blessed, as it is a passage we become so familiar with as we grow up - if you celebrate Christmas in any American fashion, you cannot escape the Nativity story; seeing it with freshness is truly a testimony of God's Word being Living and Active!   One part of the narrative hit me a few days around Christmas day:    “Glory to God in the highest heaven,      and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” Luke 2:14 The Angels were announcing the GOOD NEWS.... giving Glory to God and proclaiming to the shepherds  and all mankind... HIS FAVOR RESTS...

I am so thankful for this past week.  I have gotten some much needed rest.  And with that rest, God has done a few wonderful things in my mind and heart. Being a teacher in the past, an analogy comes to mind.  A teacher has a challenge before them each unit of study:  by some form and fashion, each unit holds with itself goals of learning, milestones that measure the learning of that particular section.  You can not move forward until those are completed.  As some of you know - especially homeschool mom's, sometimes those milestones fall together very haphazardly - children learn in different ways.  If a child is not ready to grasp something today... after some time, growth, and patience, in their own unique way, that milestone is grasped.  We can't really decide the order and time it happens, but it does happen. This year, I see some very clear lessons God has been running through my life.  I rejoice that He has allowed me to see His han...

I asked God from something special on the way home today... as I have noticed my shoulders hanging a little lower than normal and my steps a little draggy... I received this note in my Email: A Better Plan from a Better Planner By John Ortberg It’s almost Thanksgiving, with Christmas right behind. Often on the holidays we become aware that life does not go the way we plan. We think to ourselves: I was supposed to be married by now. I was supposed to be promoted by now. I was supposed to have retired, or to have children, or to have achieved this dream- Or, I wasn’t supposed to go bankrupt.  I wasn’t supposed to lose my job, or get divorced, or get cancer. What do you do when life doesn’t turn out the way you planned? One of the great statements of the Bible reads:  “For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD. Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope, and a future.’ Jeremiah 29:11 We all have plans. But God does not say:...

This was my street in mid-October.... This was this morning... I hope to get one with more sunshine later this week...  Fall is truly a beautiful season.  I love the brilliant colors and SC is sweet in that each season last about 3 months... so, if you aren't a fan of a particular season, a new season will emerge in a few weeks.  I heard a gentleman measure it off like that this past summer and it fit well in my mind.  You get a nice taste of each season here.  What a delight! Here is a picture from our trip to Savannah this weekend.  A friend of ours (a group of us went down) got married in Savannah and since we were so close to the beach, we had to find it and put our toes in the sand.  We were blessed by a kind friend of the Bride who had a GPS (what an amazing contraption!) that led us right to Tybee Island in good time to catch the last few hints of the sunset... I had some fun getting down low enough to catch the moon AND my friends stan...