Trekking with Me

Hello!  This is an OLD unpublished blog post... it is significant in my walk with Jesus.  I share... even though it is a few years old. (August 2018) It's a great Wednesday here at home, summer as come, graciously opening up my schedule to sit here in my ugly orange chair, sip coffee, and savor the sound of my H/VAC unit humming to keep my house cool as the heat and humidity sizzle my yard in Columbia, SC. Care to join me for coffee?  Please ignore the objects strewn across the guest bed which dual purposes as my foot rest, the empty breakfast plate, and the snoozing furkids.  Make yourself at home!  How have you been? What is God doing in you? My transition into summer is always an adjustment; the adrenaline begins to fall, the to-do list lengthens, appointments and coffee dates are scheduled, and blogging mornings like this anticipated.  Still, adjustment happens, sometimes not so smooth.  Often I feel I am such an odd duck, here is what I have ...

I am part of a writing group.  My first challenge - is to write about school lunch.  What comes to mind when you think of school lunch? My mind travels back to my elementary school cafeteria, with it's speckled, shiny floors and columns of tables filled with kids chattering away.  Glowing light flowed through the long windows which lined the clean, boring creme-colored cement block walls.  A stage was on one end, usually with a dark heavy curtain pulled to hide the empty area. The serving area was on the opposite end.  That was where I would see a lady who attended my church; she always had a warm smile for me, under her tight graying bun hair, covered with a spider-web like net and a small paper cap.  Her name was Mrs. Hogan; in typical southern fashion, I called her by her first name, Selma, always with the respectful southernly title of "Ms." The cafeteria always seemed so very loud, so much so I would put my fingers in my ears.  A line of kids ...

It's Friday night, and I am home, and I hardly know what to do with myself. You see... I am so happy to be home because the last 2 months, I believe I have been busy almost every single weekend: weddings, trips, retreats, guests staying with me - busy, busy, busy!  So much so, my house, my laundry, my yard have pretty much gone by the wayside. I am feeling that horrible feeling most females can identify with: I AM A MESS because my house, my yard, my life seems to be a pile of disorderliness! I literally started having a meltdown this week, my to-do list was growing, and I was feeling weak and overwhelmed... all because I have not had time to take care of me. Yeah... i can hear some of you mom's of young kids saying, "I can't even remember the last time I took care of me..." Well... being single, remember... I am the only one who takes care of everything... even if "everything" doesn't include kids and a husband: I still have to pay the bills, ...

Oh goodness!! I sit here in my cozy quiet room, "oatmealing" after a long Monday. I feel so stirred with joy, happy energy... yet not enough energy to actually go running or anything.  But... I do want to write.  It's been so long that my normal writing juices are not really flowing but I can't let this blog go dormant week-after-week, month-after-month! So... I will start with my " Golden List " theme I have used on occasion to see how it goes.... 10 Things I am thankful for Today.... 1.  I am so thankful for rainy days...weeks... well, it's been rainy and grey so long around here lately that we are beginning to called it "Seattle of the South!"  But...something about rainy days just feels cozy and romantic and I am embracing that!! 2.  Change of Seasons... This year I have noticed more how darkness falls so early...and, I have fallen in love with the soft lights of the city, the reflection of the lights on water, the way dusk quiets the...

"Grace that is greater than all our sin..."  Bart Millard melodically sings through my speakers...and I feel the comfort of that Grace fall over me, reminding me of the great lessons of grace I have learned these last few years.  God is so very good to me. So as I enjoy another ginger snap cookie dunked in my evening tea (oh so good!)...I am filled with a deep thankfulness.  What a sweet place God has brought me into... after so long and deep a struggle these past two years!  These past few years have been very challenging, evidence being here: absence on this blog.  I confess, it was all I could do to keep myself up straight and pull my foot out of the mud to take one more step, to push through another day. Through these past two years, I have felt emotions rise in me that are usually very dormant, controlled and to some degree understood, yet here they were rushing up, dark and threatening.  As I sought to work through these, through my daily battle...

Man it's been a long while since I have blogged.  I have been in survival mode, fighting through, keep'n my gaze high as I can, sloughing the mud off and out of my eyes, and trusting that there was some reason for this trench.  Things have been shifting in me in the last few weeks.... I am starting to dream again.  I am starting to gaze through the grey and see sunshine and possibilities in the clouds!  Yet, I believe it's more than mere possibilities, I believe its the edges of the reality of who and what I am. I have learned a lot.  God has given me mooch-o much, that I can't hoard - hoarding kills life.  So, I want to share all HE has given me and proclaim that HE DOES give life abundantly.  He has created us to live... to glorify and honor our Maker. That is what I intend to do, starting now. Since you are trekking with me, you have seen my journey, my "a-ha" moments and dismal days.  I have fought many years to "find" my purpose and c...

Good Morning! It's a lovely quiet morning, and I am soaking in every little second of being home, on a Tuesday, with no real demands, agenda, project, job or responsibilities screaming down my neck.  For now, that is... and I love it. I even slept well last night.  Which is a gift, since REST is from the Lord.  Yes, I must admit anxious nightmares have been flickering through my nights, stirring me to action, as school is about to start up again.  It's my minds way of dealing with fear of "oh no, it's just around the corner" and I will have to face the end of these lovely do-what-I-want-to-do days in a week. What a gift this summer has been! It has been a full, very productive, eventful, surprising summer!  From summer house projects, family time, reconnecting with old friends, trips all over, meeting and making new friends, to leisure mornings like today: Thank YOU Jesus for refreshing my soul! "Refreshing" is the word that my soul has repeated...

Hey, did you know its International Happy day? I did not even know there was such a thing.  You either? Well, I am glad I am not the only one. It's been a while since I have written a noteworthy post; I know you all were enthralled with the snow day pictures and the New Year's update.  Yet I have not posted anything from the inner workings of Tammie in a while. Mostly, its because I have been run over by a full time job called teaching.  My days are very long, my work demanding in every way, and the end of most of my days look like me crashing on the couch five seconds after walking in my front door before going to bed a few hours later; very non-typical Tammie. Sailing is my favorite :-) So, I figure it was time for a heart-to-heart post: What is God doing post.  Simple, non-detailed answer: A LOT. So here's to keep'n it real: First, it's been a very hard year (school timeframe).  The "aha" moment for me in the Fall was, "it's a...

It's Valentine's day, a day to celebrate love and relationships.  From my red couch to yours, here are a few of my thoughts and endeavors on Valentine's day: First, I am enjoying another snow day, yes our third day at home because of the massive winter storm.  I am trying not to eat myself out of my house.  Funny how my appetite explodes when gray clouds cover the sky, a chill hits the air and activities are limited to movies, homework and reading.  Not that I mind that... Today, I woke with a peaceful happy heart and mind.  Joy gushed up upon seeing the sunshine glisten over the snow, especially after two days of cloud cover and lockdown.  I am suffering a bit of cabin fever so I was ready to move!  I cooked up my favorite pumpkin pancakes for breakfast.  This was a good morning for pancakes; I did not even burn them! Kitty and Sasha are enjoying me being home.  Kitty is still not use to these colder temperatures. ...

The morning sun had yet to make its appearance, my heart and mind were feeling the dark despair as I mindlessly drove my now familiar route to work.  My normal positive outlook had been under fire for a few months now.  The recent few days had brought on a new grief;  since August, life had taken a turn from lovely light paths lined with poppies to dark, hard and lonely. It was mid-October, a shocking death had shaken my church, personally I was in a place of despair over work;  again wondering, had I made terrible mistake .   That morning The Counselor lead my mind to this verse and counseled my soul: " For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh." The Spirit led me to realize that this hard place, where I was crying, fussing and complaints were gushing out, was an altar: a place to die.   T hat place over there looked a whole lot bet...

It's about time for a Golden List.  If you do a "golden list" search on my site, you will see it is a often repeated theme.  Since today is the 14th, I will share 14 things I am thankful for: 1.  Progress, even though small, in the daily challenge of teaching. 2.  Vitamin D: a simple solution to a long time fatigue problem. 3.  Mashed potatoes: my mouth has been sore, my tummy hungry - soft, yummy potatoes hit the spot. 4.  Sight! Having a foggy, fuzzy right eye for over three weeks makes me exceptionally grateful for clear vision.... it's 95% clear now. 5.  A spontaneous concert: Stephen Curtis Chapman, Laura Story and Jason Gray! 6.  My students 7.  Jim Brickman Pandora Station: so soothing... 8.  My parents surprise visit: they blessed me by cleaning my yard, house... and cooking. 9.  Beauty I catch in photos... 10.  New Friends: I work with some neat people whom have made me feel very welcome. 1...

This week I had two different doctor appointments: one with the eye doc and the other with the dentist. Both made me HAPPY!  Just call me weird. Turning 40 has flipped some kind of switch!  Over the last year or so, I have had more and more difficulty reading names on rosters or my Bible.  I have been using my online Bible reading guide, reading the Word from a computer screen makes it bigger, but seems a lot less holy than holding my Bible!  It finally got so bad that I went running to the eye doctor. I will admit, I am a little bit excited to get new reading lenses in my new scripts; I may even post a self portrait with my new glasses when they come.  I have new contacts too, and my doc recommend I simply buy a cheap pair of reading glasses to have when I am wearing my contacts.  I can't wait!  Seriously! I have been straining to see for over a year and now, problem solved! Yah!! My second medical visit this week was with my dentist.  I ...

Good Morning! I am revving up with excitement this morning. Less than 2 hours until the Willowcreek Leadership Summit commences!  And, the cutest outfit has come together this morning - gals you know that gets you in a fun mood when just the right earrings matches up with the perfect top  and shoes... it is just positively joyful! :-) 3 days until teachers officially ascend back down into classrooms.... 6 days until I officially begin a new decade :-) Mountains of thoughts to share! This is just to whet your appetite: is your cup empty?  God directly answered the cry of my heart this past week, thus pouring shameless Joy all over me!  As one of my favorite preachers commonly says, when you get to the root, you rid of the fruit of worry, anxiety, and fear. I just Love Him for being so faithful! Just this morning... I was so blessed in Psalm 84 (one of my favorite psalms - the subtitle of this blog comes from this!): O God, behold our shield, And ...