Showing posts from 2014

New Year's Eve

Man it's been a long while since I have blogged.  I have been in survival mode, fighting through, keep'n my gaze high as I can, sloughing the mud off and out of my eyes, and trusting that there was some reason for this trench.  Things have been shifting in me in the last few weeks....

I am starting to dream again.  I am starting to gaze through the grey and see sunshine and possibilities in the clouds!  Yet, I believe it's more than mere possibilities, I believe its the edges of the reality of who and what I am.

I have learned a lot.  God has given me mooch-o much, that I can't hoard - hoarding kills life.  So, I want to share all HE has given me and proclaim that HE DOES give life abundantly.  He has created us to live... to glorify and honor our Maker.

That is what I intend to do, starting now.

Since you are trekking with me, you have seen my journey, my "a-ha" moments and dismal days.  I have fought many years to "find" my purpose and calling, …

"I Shall Not Want" - Audrey Assad

Every now and than a song comes along that weaves words into melody, and carries the words and cries of my heart perfectly.  This masterpiece draws upon Psalm 23, which is a familiar passage to many but one that has grown in depth of meaning to me, as God has drawn me by His Light and Revelation, beneath the words to His Spirit and Life.

"I Shall Not Want" Lyrics:

From the love of my own comfort
From the fear of having nothing
From a life of worldly passions
Deliver me O God

From the need to be understood
From the need to be accepted
From the fear of being lonely
Deliver me O God
Deliver me O God

And I shall not want, I shall not want
when I taste Your goodness I shall not want
when I taste Your goodness I shall not want

From the fear of serving others
From the fear of death or trial
From the fear of humility
Deliver me O God
Deliver me O God

Songs on Saturday

When one works a long full week, Saturday is always a welcome gift.  I pretty much face-planted into the weekend.  It was a long, not-bad, hard week.  I celebrated by watching two episodes of Foyle's War and popping an herbal sleep supplement before finding slumber last night.  
Not sure if it was the effect of the supplement or if I was just that tired, but I slept hard, even with Kitty's 2:30AM food demand.  I came to consciousness around 7:30, knowing I had to be on my way to an appointment by 8:30.  I stumbled out of the house by 8:27 still feeling in a fog and not fully conscious.  I brought Sasha along as I felt some guilt in neglecting her and wanted to go for a jaunt in a local trail on my way home from town.  
All in all, my first two hours of Saturday were spent doing things I normally find delight and joy yet as I stomped through the local woods, I was anything but delighted or joyed.  An all too familiar rant of complain was drizzling down through my brain.  I thankf…

Land of 40 ~ Love Story

I am really in the fourth decade of my life now.  Hitting 40 was indeed a milestone, and now I pass the first marker of this 4th decade.

I can't say that with much hoopla, to be honest.  Lately I am looking a little more carefully in the mirror for lines that were not there yesterday, thinking more about how many days it's been since my last good work out and that it only takes three days of non-aerobic work for your muscles to begin to atrophy.  Ugh... I don't want to look old, but I feel older!  My body is not wanting to move like I did a few years ago.  I even got bi-focals this past year, which at the time made me happy cause I was having a hard time seeing but that is what OLD people have!

41.... oh man.

But, I enjoyed my birthday with many well wishes on Facebook, and many texts, a skype call and a few phone calls.  I feel loved.  I feel thankful.

And, I am noticing that a year is moving along much quicker.  I now see the year ahead as 180 school days until summer c…

ConnectedSoulGrief ~ Robin Williams

My soul is so grieved over the loss of Robin Williams.

It seems so odd that I would feel such grief over someone I did not personally know.  I know many grieve this loss, and deeply so.

So this morning I stopped and asked, why does this affect me so?

He connected with my soul.

There was something in Robin Williams, the characters he brought to life, that connected with something in me.  He made us laugh indeed, but his dramatic performances also made us feel, there was such an authenticity in his characters.   Some of my favorite films were Patch Adams, Good Will Hunting, Awakenings.   Some of his roles were not exactly where I stand on my values and convictions, so I can't endorse everything ethically and morally.  Sadly and obviously, the spiritual state and direction of our culture is expressed in the arts.  Yet as an actor, he was able to embody and connect us to the cry of the human soul; he voiced, questioned, made us feel, ask and laugh.  He bridged souls, hearts and emoti…

Gifts of Summer

Good Morning!

It's a lovely quiet morning, and I am soaking in every little second of being home, on a Tuesday, with no real demands, agenda, project, job or responsibilities screaming down my neck.  For now, that is... and I love it.

I even slept well last night.  Which is a gift, since REST is from the Lord.  Yes, I must admit anxious nightmares have been flickering through my nights, stirring me to action, as school is about to start up again.  It's my minds way of dealing with fear of "oh no, it's just around the corner" and I will have to face the end of these lovely do-what-I-want-to-do days in a week.

What a gift this summer has been! It has been a full, very productive, eventful, surprising summer!  From summer house projects, family time, reconnecting with old friends, trips all over, meeting and making new friends, to leisure mornings like today: Thank YOU Jesus for refreshing my soul!

"Refreshing" is the word that my soul has repeated when a…

Sifting through Normalcy

Because it's May and I have not posted one single thing in a few months, I figured it was time to blog.

School is almost over, literally five more days of frizzy with pre-adolescents.  One look into every teachers eyes and you will see that we are all staring at the finish line.  This leg has taken every ounce of energy in all of us.  The kids are so ready to be free from school, books, teacher's dirty looks and visa versa.

As this last week finally arrives, I am so thankful for the year behind, that victory and joy was experienced, and much was learned.  Honestly, I can barely wait to sift through and apply the lessons I learned from the blood, sweat and tears of the path behind me to the year in front of me.  AND I am greatly anticipating the weeks of summer in between to rest, revamp, reconnect, retreat, refresh and refill my depleted mind and soul and NOT think about school!

Something I want out of this summer is a special time with the Lord.  I have seriously been ponder…

A journey from Anger to Happiness

Hey, did you know its International Happy day?

I did not even know there was such a thing.  You either? Well, I am glad I am not the only one.

It's been a while since I have written a noteworthy post; I know you all were enthralled with the snow day pictures and the New Year's update.  Yet I have not posted anything from the inner workings of Tammie in a while.

Mostly, its because I have been run over by a full time job called teaching.  My days are very long, my work demanding in every way, and the end of most of my days look like me crashing on the couch five seconds after walking in my front door before going to bed a few hours later; very non-typical Tammie.

So, I figure it was time for a heart-to-heart post: What is God doing post.  Simple, non-detailed answer: A LOT.

So here's to keep'n it real:

First, it's been a very hard year (school timeframe).  The "aha" moment for me in the Fall was, "it's a hard place, not a wrong place."  Y…

Welcome Spring

I snapped this this past week as I was sitting in traffic downtown.  I think it may have been on Thursday, the first day of Spring.  I had my sunroof open, soaking in the wonderful warm weather, blue skies and new season.  I did not mind the 5:00 traffic jam as it let me appreciate the earliest of blossoms on these trees.  I shot this through my sunroof.... straight up into the sky.  

Valentine's Day Details

It's Valentine's day, a day to celebrate love and relationships.  From my red couch to yours, here are a few of my thoughts and endeavors on Valentine's day:

First, I am enjoying another snow day, yes our third day at home because of the massive winter storm.  I am trying not to eat myself out of my house.  Funny how my appetite explodes when gray clouds cover the sky, a chill hits the air and activities are limited to movies, homework and reading.  Not that I mind that...

Today, I woke with a peaceful happy heart and mind.  Joy gushed up upon seeing the sunshine glisten over the snow, especially after two days of cloud cover and lockdown.  I am suffering a bit of cabin fever so I was ready to move!

 I cooked up my favorite pumpkin pancakes for breakfast.  This was a good morning for pancakes; I did not even burn them!

Kitty and Sasha are enjoying me being home.  Kitty is still not use to these colder temperatures.  She is such a baby.  I think she takes after her momma...


3 Snow days!

Hello from Wintery, Icy, Snow covered and now melting Columbia, SC!  What a treat for us!  Thank goodness, the forecasted ice storm turned into mostly snow and sleet for my area.  I never lost power, but I know many did.

Sasha is plum tuckered out from all the running, romping and snow playing she did today.  She is right now curled up on the floor, tucked as close as she can be to my feet and the couch.  I kind of like it except for the occasional dog-stench that rises... so much for that dog-bath she got two weeks ago.

It's the joy of having a critter when you see her so excited over all this white stuff.  It gave me a good reason to get up and out.  This was our second snow day, which allowed me another lovely day to sleep in with no alarm.  I tried being productive - kept the dishes washed and tried reading instead of watching another movie... so getting out was much more

Snow For Real!

The snow finally came!   Today, Sasha and I enjoyed a morning romp through the snowy neighborhood.  It's amazing how still and silent a walk through the freshly fallen snow is... it's truly delightful!  Here are a few snapshots:

SNOW day activities (no sighting of snow yet)

SNOW DAY!  But I have yet to see one snow flake fall in my yard.  I am still hopeful... and very thankful for a day at home.  A snow-day, even without snow, is a wonderful blessing.  Today I have hunkered down after cleaning up Sasha's feather mess.  That use to be the swing cushion:

This is what it USE to look like:

So what does one do on a snow day without any snow?
I have actually been quite productive and tackled a few things I have been wanting to do but weren't exactly on the top of my list.  Here are a few:
Renewed my passport!  It's expiring in a few months and I hope to go somewhere on a plane this year.  A few of my hopeful destinations include Uraquay, Ireland and who knows where else.  So, my wishful thinking made me proactive today!  
Print my money challenge for the year.  I saw someone post this: I thought it was quite the creative plan.  So, I printed it today, finally, and checked off the weeks I have already done!! Woo-hooooo! Success!
Read my "Experi…

7 Days Late

Happy New Year!!!

My usual habit of posting something on the new year's day or eve was debunked this year!  I was hit with a heavy malady causing all creative energy and desire to seep out of my brain and body.

So, my fresh start has had a little drag!  I am still dragging a bit but almost up to full speed.  I lost my voice in the midst of it all.  Monday I went to work and squeaked my way through: it was a good day anyhow.   I was glad to see my students and get rolling again!

No real new resolutions this year, just the typical get healthier and try to make that 10K again this year. I feel like I am on a new plateau of sorts, happy for the recent breakthrough, joy in my work and balanced in my being; experiencing greater freedom, peace and joy.  Like that last lap after swimming hard: it's time to relax and breath a bit before leaving the pool.

As I swish through the waters of my memories, I thought it would be nice to remember some of my favorite moments of 2013 that I capt…