Trekking with Me

 It's a rough season.   I have been in quarantine the last 5 days, my husband isn't letting me out of my space.  Initially I have felt fine, just taking precaution after being exposed while at my parents.  This morning, when applying some oils on my stuffy ears, I noticed I did not smell the oils, which normally has a lovely strong cinnamon, clove, orange-y smell.  Nothing.  First true COVID symptom: bummer.  So, today I have given into the tiredness and slept.  I don't feel awful, just rundown.   It's been a hard emotional season these past few months.  My parents are not doing well: dad has been mom's best caregiver over the last year, pushing her to improve. Her health has been very fragile since her major episode back in October of 2019.  Having an enlarged heart, congestive heart failure looms over her and she has had more and more "episodes" from pulmonary edema: liquid in the lungs.  Dad has pushed, pulled, and...

Hello!  This is an OLD unpublished blog post... it is significant in my walk with Jesus.  I share... even though it is a few years old. (August 2018) It's a great Wednesday here at home, summer as come, graciously opening up my schedule to sit here in my ugly orange chair, sip coffee, and savor the sound of my H/VAC unit humming to keep my house cool as the heat and humidity sizzle my yard in Columbia, SC. Care to join me for coffee?  Please ignore the objects strewn across the guest bed which dual purposes as my foot rest, the empty breakfast plate, and the snoozing furkids.  Make yourself at home!  How have you been? What is God doing in you? My transition into summer is always an adjustment; the adrenaline begins to fall, the to-do list lengthens, appointments and coffee dates are scheduled, and blogging mornings like this anticipated.  Still, adjustment happens, sometimes not so smooth.  Often I feel I am such an odd duck, here is what I have ...

It's 2018! A few weeks in now, and it's looking to be a good year already.  Before we focus on the brightening horizon ahead, I want to make some acknowledgements of some significant events of 2017. 2017 was a roller coaster of a ride for me.  It had some breathtaking climbs and unexpected falls with twists and turns.  It was not only this figuratively, I had several opportunities with friends and family to literally ride world-class roller coasters on a few occasions(Yes, I rode The Fury at Carowinds!!); something I had not done in many years.  Obviously the metaphoric parallels did not escape me. 1. Some of my higher, sweeter moments include doing a few rounds of Whole30  - an elimination 30-day diet that can change your life if you embrace it for what it is designed to do!  It's more than a diet, it's a transformation of how you relate to food, opening new understanding in how our body responds to foods.   The results/fruit of going through thi...

Am I really on the other side?  The air is fresher, my legs ache less, my arms freer, and my mind more clear.  The gravel crunches under me as I trod along, my feet moving in their unique, steady stride, even the ground is less resistant.  My hands grip the straps which come over my shoulders holding my now lighter pack.   My backdrop is painted with ominous clouds dancing in the sky.  Far-off drums the storm, the shouts therein fading.  Tossing a gaze behind, I gasp: the colors of deep purples, maroons, grays, oranges and pinks plum, mysterious with beauty and treasure.   Filled with wonder, I turn my gaze.  I'm thankful to see the bright sky ahead.  Remaining drops of rain wiggle and fall away with each new step.  In my pocket a few small stones roll about, smooth and rough; my thumb and fore-fingers feel for them. Each from my not-so favorite places, albeit significant.  Have I really come through, to this new place? ...

"Come and hear, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me!" Psalm 66:16 The story of Hannah is one which most women can identify; a woman who has this deep desire, a desire which tears her soul up in anguish at times.  One which she tries to ignore, push aside, surrender, give up, and not allow to control her, yet... it is there, by design, on purpose... because she is a woman by nature.   Her heart is created to have these things .... this thing.    Even when we have... other things that are gifts to our hearts; a great community, love of friends, a husband, even significant roles we play.. there often is something that is missing... and though the desire can go dormant... it raises it's head in seasons, year after year... haunting us... and we feel the deep grief of the lack. Hannah's grief can be felt by us all as we read her story.... we all know that feeling, and anguish... whether it be for a wayward child, a husband, a child, lo...

Happy New Years!! So what in the world happen in 2016.... Dear friends got married... and had a baby in ONE year.... that seems almost magical to me especially that she was over 35... there is hope for me???  Marriage is still a hope but I am doing alright single.  Just for your information - free of charge! I had lots of family adventures which included Alaska, Florida, Georgia, Kansas City and South Carolina. Health and Simplification... A 5k and a 10k were completed!!  Cooper Bridge run -5th year!!  Martin Luther King Run - First and training for second. I completed my first WHOLE30!  This was an amazing experience and I am starting my second one tomorrow!! " The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up! " - WHO KNEW but this truly has transformed my life! I have embraced the process and since November I have gone through my clothes, jewelry, toiletries, filing cabinet, and miscellaneous trappings! Through this process, I have created a beautiful, or...

"Grace that is greater than all our sin..."  Bart Millard melodically sings through my speakers...and I feel the comfort of that Grace fall over me, reminding me of the great lessons of grace I have learned these last few years.  God is so very good to me. So as I enjoy another ginger snap cookie dunked in my evening tea (oh so good!)...I am filled with a deep thankfulness.  What a sweet place God has brought me into... after so long and deep a struggle these past two years!  These past few years have been very challenging, evidence being here: absence on this blog.  I confess, it was all I could do to keep myself up straight and pull my foot out of the mud to take one more step, to push through another day. Through these past two years, I have felt emotions rise in me that are usually very dormant, controlled and to some degree understood, yet here they were rushing up, dark and threatening.  As I sought to work through these, through my daily battle...

I am really in the fourth decade of my life now.  Hitting 40 was indeed a milestone, and now I pass the first marker of this 4th decade. I can't say that with much hoopla, to be honest.  Lately I am looking a little more carefully in the mirror for lines that were not there yesterday, thinking more about how many days it's been since my last good work out and that it only takes three days of non-aerobic work for your muscles to begin to atrophy.  Ugh... I don't want to look old, but I feel older!  My body is not wanting to move like I did a few years ago.  I even got bi-focals this past year, which at the time made me happy cause I was having a hard time seeing but that is what OLD people have! 41.... oh man. But, I enjoyed my birthday with many well wishes on Facebook, and many texts, a skype call and a few phone calls.  I feel loved.  I feel thankful. And, I am noticing that a year is moving along much quicker.  I now see the year ahead ...

Because it's May and I have not posted one single thing in a few months, I figured it was time to blog. School is almost over, literally five more days of frizzy with pre-adolescents.  One look into every teachers eyes and you will see that we are all staring at the finish line.  This leg has taken every ounce of energy in all of us.  The kids are so ready to be free from school, books, teacher's dirty looks and visa versa. As this last week finally arrives, I am so thankful for the year behind, that victory and joy was experienced, and much was learned.  Honestly, I can barely wait to sift through and apply the lessons I learned from the blood, sweat and tears of the path behind me to the year in front of me.  AND I am greatly anticipating the weeks of summer in between to rest, revamp, reconnect, retreat, refresh and refill my depleted mind and soul and NOT think about school! Something I want out of this summer is a special time with the Lord.  I h...

Hey, did you know its International Happy day? I did not even know there was such a thing.  You either? Well, I am glad I am not the only one. It's been a while since I have written a noteworthy post; I know you all were enthralled with the snow day pictures and the New Year's update.  Yet I have not posted anything from the inner workings of Tammie in a while. Mostly, its because I have been run over by a full time job called teaching.  My days are very long, my work demanding in every way, and the end of most of my days look like me crashing on the couch five seconds after walking in my front door before going to bed a few hours later; very non-typical Tammie. Sailing is my favorite :-) So, I figure it was time for a heart-to-heart post: What is God doing post.  Simple, non-detailed answer: A LOT. So here's to keep'n it real: First, it's been a very hard year (school timeframe).  The "aha" moment for me in the Fall was, "it's a...

It's about time for a Golden List.  If you do a "golden list" search on my site, you will see it is a often repeated theme.  Since today is the 14th, I will share 14 things I am thankful for: 1.  Progress, even though small, in the daily challenge of teaching. 2.  Vitamin D: a simple solution to a long time fatigue problem. 3.  Mashed potatoes: my mouth has been sore, my tummy hungry - soft, yummy potatoes hit the spot. 4.  Sight! Having a foggy, fuzzy right eye for over three weeks makes me exceptionally grateful for clear vision.... it's 95% clear now. 5.  A spontaneous concert: Stephen Curtis Chapman, Laura Story and Jason Gray! 6.  My students 7.  Jim Brickman Pandora Station: so soothing... 8.  My parents surprise visit: they blessed me by cleaning my yard, house... and cooking. 9.  Beauty I catch in photos... 10.  New Friends: I work with some neat people whom have made me feel very welcome. 1...

This week I had two different doctor appointments: one with the eye doc and the other with the dentist. Both made me HAPPY!  Just call me weird. Turning 40 has flipped some kind of switch!  Over the last year or so, I have had more and more difficulty reading names on rosters or my Bible.  I have been using my online Bible reading guide, reading the Word from a computer screen makes it bigger, but seems a lot less holy than holding my Bible!  It finally got so bad that I went running to the eye doctor. I will admit, I am a little bit excited to get new reading lenses in my new scripts; I may even post a self portrait with my new glasses when they come.  I have new contacts too, and my doc recommend I simply buy a cheap pair of reading glasses to have when I am wearing my contacts.  I can't wait!  Seriously! I have been straining to see for over a year and now, problem solved! Yah!! My second medical visit this week was with my dentist.  I ...

It's been since August that I have posted.  Unusual for me to take such a hiatus from blogging.  I have been under a bit of stress, and to be honest, wrestling it through with myself, and the Lord. I feel like the proverbial tea bag in hot water.  My circumstances have heated up and it's causing not such good stuff to come steeping out.  Frustrations, anxiety, stress; add physical exhaustion in the mix and it just isn't a pretty picture.  I don't like what I look like when the "water heats up"... but I also know that it is in these "trials like fire" that my faith is strengthened, ugly dross comes to the surface to be washed away bringing growth and transformation.  It's uncomfortable to say the least, it is hard, I have cried my share of tears in the last weeks.  2 Corinthians 4:7-10 comes to mind:   But we have this treasure in  earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of  the power will be of God and not from ourselves; ...