Something Beautiful

I am so thankful for this past week.  I have gotten some much needed rest.  And with that rest, God has done a few wonderful things in my mind and heart.

Being a teacher in the past, an analogy comes to mind.  A teacher has a challenge before them each unit of study:  by some form and fashion, each unit holds with itself goals of learning, milestones that measure the learning of that particular section.  You can not move forward until those are completed.  As some of you know - especially homeschool mom's, sometimes those milestones fall together very haphazardly - children learn in different ways.  If a child is not ready to grasp something today... after some time, growth, and patience, in their own unique way, that milestone is grasped.  We can't really decide the order and time it happens, but it does happen.

This year, I see some very clear lessons God has been running through my life.  I rejoice that He has allowed me to see His hand so clearly.  They have not been easy yet the principles of love and truth have been ruling the curriculum of Christ in me.  Truth brings freedom; love brings Life.

I admit I have been very impatient with my own "growth" and wish I was in a different place: more advanced spiritually, more gracious, more patient, more consumed with Jesus... not so prone to wandering, defeated thoughts and patterns.

So, what was so special about this week?  Well.... I know of a few very vulnerable areas in my life that God has been particularly working on this year.  I was very aware He was allowing some wounds, some disappointments, places I would rather ignore and hide in the corner of my heart and pretend that they were really alright, dead, or just gone.  But, God desires purity, holiness... His Image in His child.  And we can not move forward sometimes until the dirt and clutter is cleared out.  He has good, beautiful plans ahead He wants us to do together... but I could not move forward until I dealt with a wall of clutter in front of me.

He did that this week.  In fact, He allowed clutter to rise up in me that has caused me a FIT: anger, hurt, bitterness.  He patiently held it up and said, "Tammie, let's deal with this.  Forgive."

So... a few days ago, I was standing in the shower - He has so often met me in the shower I am beginning to think that is the Holy of Holies... like the place we can hide NOTHING... seriously.  I found myself lifting my hands, crying out to Him, asking Him to do what I did not know how to do... Have His way.  And you know... He did!!

"Walk by Faith, Not by Sight."  I don't really know HOW He does it but He does.  He changes us when we surrender, sacrifice, yield, and believe.  It's painful, but OH so Beautiful!!

It is so fresh I am still breathless.... did I really change?  Well... SOMETHING IS DIFFERENT! 

I feel like I am in love or something! Jesus is WONDERFUL... I Love Him So!

What a GREAT WAY TO END a year!!!

"Something Beautiful, Something Good...
All my confusion He understood...
All I had to offer Him was Brokenness and Strife...
But He Made Something Beautiful Of my Life."

Happy New Year's Eve!


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