Flip on the Lights again ~ Light on Singleness

"Coming home is always wonderful and lonely..."

I just messaged that to a dear friend on Facebook.

Here I sit, mid-morning, feeling droggy (i made up that word) as I look over the next few days.  My house is cool (thank you LORD for a/c!), Sasha is snoozing on the rug at my feet, and it's just a gift of quietness... and alone-ness.

I have just spent the past five days traveling to Florida, visiting family, enjoying time off to go, visit, and connect with those I don't see as often as I would like.  An odd stomach bug attacked while away so I have returned a bit more drained of energy than normal.  Though the lonely-feeling is normal; my house is covering only me, not having a housemate makes it feel very lonely.  So, I am praying for God to fill my yellow room with just the right personality!

Yesterday, on my return drive, I was delighted to catch a sermon.  I think it was John McArthur, which I have not actually ever heard before, though his name sounds familiar.  He was preaching on I Corinthians 7, and he was doing a pretty good job in dissecting and teaching it.

Funny how sometimes a phrase jumps out and grabs you; maybe it is something you have read, heard or even said yourself but a moment in time comes when the Spirit of God plugs in heavenly energy into it and it sparkles and glows with new light.

"Singleness is a gift, and it is good.  Are you handling your singleness as a gift, and running with it as far and as fast as you can?" Later in the message McArthur pointed out marriage is bondage:  now when I hear "bondage" I don't usually think positive; it's really a neutral word!  So, let's look at it that way... when you are married, you are bound to another person.  That can be positive and negative.  I know, this seems very obvious, but these words fell into my ears and down into my soul in a very fresh way.  Singleness does not mean we a void of relationships, but -if walking in the Ways of Christ- void of marital intimacy. 

I like it when God flips on His heavenly lights and gives my mind and heart greater perspective.  I have not even been thinking about this topic lately, well, not deeply anyhow.  I am always aware of being single... and coming home to an empty house seems to highlight what is not there.  Though, I can say I was very thankful I had no "bondage" last night when I crawled out of my car, with an undeterred focus on getting myself as quickly as I could into my bed.  Exhaustion has a way of harvesting that kind of rejoicing over my singleness!!

When the morning light awakes me, the stillness of my house embraces me; it can start feeling not so wonderful of a gift.   So...I move, feed the dog, make breakfast, read my Bible, forgo coffee as I have no cream, but make a lovely mental plan to utilize a gift certificate for a cool coffee joint downtown... and life begins to feel and look much better.

How can I utilize this gift of singleness!  It is a gift... and God wants me to unwrap it and enjoy it every day!


Anonymous said…
Well said, Tammy! I love being married(43 years), but love my alone times , too!!
Tammie H said…
Thank you for reading my blog :-) it makes me happy to receive comments! Oh, I am so glad your 43 year married life!! WOAH... not many can say that; I hope and pray someday i can say I am happily married. In the meantime, practicing thanks for the gift of today :-)
Anonymous said…
I have to say that your thoughts reached down inside my heart. I could feel tears begin to tickle my nose. Loneliness is not so much fun when it seems to become your friend. I don't think of marriage as bondage, but of love and commitment. If I have to have a thorn, then I will gladly accept the stronghold of oneness ~ and empty myself of all the other stuff that interferes with my relationship with the great I AM. Like so many things, we don't fully appreciate them until they are past, but that lonesomeness feeling won't be one of them. However, what I should be focusing on during these single years is my quest at seeking a more intimate relationship with the Holy Trinity, so that when the Lord blesses me with my bride, I will be the very best husband I can be, and just for her.

My relationship with Christ is the oneness my heart desires most.
Anonymous said…

This is only a note to you... I was reading what Anonymous said above and I thought, wow, sounds like something I would say . . . AND IT WAS. I forgot I had written it until I got to the very bottom. Memory issues? :-) Frank

You really are very deep. That is attractive and romantic.
Anonymous said…
What a moving, and beautiful response "anonymous". I pray you find your bride, the one God intended you to be with, in due season. It marriage is bondage, may I be bound to my husband (and he to me) throughout this life. For as I am cheerfully a bond servant to Christ, so is my heart and spirit forged into one with my husband. "Whatsoever God hath joined together, let NO ONE tear/apart. God's blessings on you Frank :)

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