Trekking with Me

"Come and hear, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me!" Psalm 66:16 The story of Hannah is one which most women can identify; a woman who has this deep desire, a desire which tears her soul up in anguish at times.  One which she tries to ignore, push aside, surrender, give up, and not allow to control her, yet... it is there, by design, on purpose... because she is a woman by nature.   Her heart is created to have these things .... this thing.    Even when we have... other things that are gifts to our hearts; a great community, love of friends, a husband, even significant roles we play.. there often is something that is missing... and though the desire can go dormant... it raises it's head in seasons, year after year... haunting us... and we feel the deep grief of the lack. Hannah's grief can be felt by us all as we read her story.... we all know that feeling, and anguish... whether it be for a wayward child, a husband, a child, lo...

When one works a long full week, Saturday is always a welcome gift.  I pretty much face-planted into the weekend.  It was a long, not-bad, hard week.  I celebrated by watching two episodes of Foyle's War and popping an herbal sleep supplement before finding slumber last night.   Not sure if it was the effect of the supplement or if I was just that tired, but I slept hard, even with Kitty's 2:30AM food demand.  I came to consciousness around 7:30, knowing I had to be on my way to an appointment by 8:30.  I stumbled out of the house by 8:27 still feeling in a fog and not fully conscious.  I brought Sasha along as I felt some guilt in neglecting her and wanted to go for a jaunt in a local trail on my way home from town.   All in all, my first two hours of Saturday were spent doing things I normally find delight and joy yet as I stomped through the local woods, I was anything but delighted or joyed.  An all too familiar rant of complain ...

When I was in Ninth grade, I was in chorus.  The chorus leader was a lively hymnal leader, and was very good in helping us learn our parts.  I really enjoyed being a part of this group.  Not that I had a super strong voice but when I sang next to amazing voices, somehow I felt more confident and sounded pretty good.  I always have sung better in a group.  Doesn't everyone? One of the hymns he taught us was "Be Still My Soul."  At the time, I was so focused on learning my part, the words pretty much slipped by; even years later, when we would sing that hymn, I heard only the parts and not the words.  It was not till a few weeks ago, when we song a re-vamped version in church did the words come into focus.  Wow! So powerful... So strong, so what I want to hold onto in these days of uncertainty. Here are the words, if you have never focused in either.  They are worth the effort. Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side. Bear patiently th...

Ever been anxious about something?  Anxiousness is really a vague cloud of worry over something you can't do anything about, or even positively name: it is a cloud of fogginess!  Fear wrapped in a desire to control something that you cannot control. Yesterday a thought was pestering me something fierce.  A vulnerable nerve was exposed and being teased with an action.  At first, I started playing with the idea, but just like a little child being teased with something he/she cannot have, it started to get all frustrated, flustered and worked up. I began to pray through it, and even called a friend to check my thoughts out with her.  It is great to have Jesus-loving friends who love you enough to remind you you are weak and about to do something stupid if you give in to it! I did not actually speak to her but left a message, just asking for prayer. After hanging up, I went about my day which involved some hard hot work in the yard.  It's great therapy, p...

I was pretty discouraged yesterday.  Maybe you caught that from my post.  I tried sounding upbeat but there was a low drum in the middle of my being.  I love that He sees us, and meets us in our low estate. In fact that is what He has done this very morning: I must share! My Time with Abba began in Psalm 136.  It's one that has the phrase "His Love Endures Forever" repeated in each verse.  The last four verses is what I read of Psalm 136.  Within these few lines we read, " He remembers our low estate... He frees us from our enemies.... He feeds every creature... Oh give Thanks to the God Of heaven... For HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER..." Then I hopped to 2 Kings 3-4.  I read a story I don't ever remember reading before.  First it describes King Joram son of Ahab (there are so many kings, and it's all divided up between Israel and Judah, these passages can get pretty confusing but hang in there and watch what God does).  It describes Joram as...

Literally, as I turned over from my Sunday slumber, sleeping later than usual, delighting in the sunshine waking me through my windows, I touched the "verse of the day" on the screen of my phone and read Isaiah 55:8-9 --- My soul drank it in as only the Lord knows the deep cries of the heart.  Verses 10-11 finish the section of verses: I wrap myself in these precious Words of the Lord today.  Thank You Lord for how intimately you touch and know me.  How I love Him! “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not My ways.” This is the  Lord ’s declaration. 9  “For as heaven is higher than earth,  so My ways are higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. 10  For just as rain and snow fall from heaven and do not return there without saturating the earth and making it germinate and sprout, and providing seed to sow and food to eat,  11  so My word that comes from My mouth will not return to Me empty, but it will ...

I heard this for the first time a few days ago sung by friends of a friend on FB.  The words are incredible.  When I "youtubed" the song by Sleeping At Last , I thought the kids who song it on a homemade video I had watched on FB did a FAR better job - their harmony was electric.  So, I put this on here... to remember the words, & stash it away for another day... :-) Dear true love, I'm a writer without any words, I'm a story that nobody heard  When i'm without you. I am a voice, I am a voice without any sound. I'm a treasure map that nobody found When i'm without you. Dear true love, I'm a lantern without any light, I'm a boxer much too afraid to fight When i'm without you. So with this ring May you always know one thing: What little that i have to give, I will give it all to you. You're my one true love. I am a memory, I'm a memory bent out of shape, A childhood already bruised with age  When i'm without you. Dear true l...

One of my love languages is words of affirmation, in written form, left in odd places.  The first man I fell hard for left me tiny post-it size notes tucked under my windshield wiper.  I nearly crashed my car the first  time I discovered one! God often drops post-it size notes my way.  Not literally, but in ways that light up my days, assure me of His intimate love and transform me.  Here are a few I have received lately: You are acceptable.   This love note from Heaven has come before, in fact, as I reflect over the last year, it first came last March.  This time, it spoke more deeply, directly to a lie I have lived in - that I was not acceptable.  Is there anyone else that has believed that lie?  I am free to be me because He created and designed me exactly the way I am.  I know, "I am not perfect, but parts of me are excellent!" I am somebody. We are significant.  God doesn't make junk; in fact, I bear His Image. ...

I love happy endings. I love it when the girl realizes the man loves her for her, and she lets down her guard and loves him back. I love it when the guy waits patiently for the girl to realize she loves him. I love it when love grows softly between two unsuspecting individuals. I love it when the man sees the heart of the woman he loves and draws out her inner beauty, making her outer beauty all that much more beautiful. I love it when he sees her worth, more than she sees her own, and he does everything to show her she is worthy. I love it when the man and woman discover they are on the same adventure and they can fight it together all that much better. I love it when you walk out of the movie theatre, and you heart and mind wear a smile because the story that seemed so complicated, frustrating, and impossible ended up just like you knew it should have... and hope is restored in your heart that Love does win. I love outtakes that make you sit until the very last line t...

Over the last several weeks I have been looking for work as I finish my school.  I knew I would be without work for a while and had a confidence from the LORD that it was a time to focus on finishing well.  I was sailing through this pretty well until my weeks became a bit too "loose" and scantily scheduled. When I lack structure to my days, everything seems kind of mushy, undefined, heavy.  I do enjoy having extra time to have long times with the LORD, go on walks, get house projects done, and spend leisurely time with friends over coffee.  Also, it helps to remind myself that 99% of our days I am TOO BUSY so seize the day! Yet with too much extra time on my hands some predictable emotions and thoughts rise up; boredom, impatience with God's timing, questions of my significance and purpose.  It's when things get quiet, dark, long... that the fruit of buried doubts and fears poke its head up through the soil of my heart. A few weeks back I noticed I w...

I love that I was chosen for a Blog Award :-)  From Shelby, my Birthday Twin . Receiving an award brings to mind a memory from my high school years when I would intentionally avoid receiving awards... because if you received a reward, you would have to walk the long, horrible, highly-visible walk up the auditorium stage where the principle would hand you a piece of paper, in front of all my classmates.  OH HORRORS!  The only reward I usually received was perfect attendance... and well, I knew how to take care of that....  Thanks and link back to the blogger who passed this award onto you Share 7 things about yourself Award 15 (or however many you want) other recently discovered great bloggers Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award 7 Things about Me ...hmmmm 1.  Someone complimented me on my hands and feet... and it has thoroughly gone to my head.  Someday I may model them. Well, ya know... it would  be a nice way to earn a little ex...

Ready or Not... Here it comes!   My summer is looking... kind of vague.  I have a few things planned: family visits, a summer class in July, housesitting in NC, more sailing... but this summer is going to miss a few things - like a few key friends who make it more fun.  I am sure I will find plenty of fun this summer, God always gives me something to delight in if I keep my eyes open and focused on Him.  Yet, right now... i am a little dampened in my spirit... Over the last year or so... I have had to say "good-bye" to friends who grew close to my heart.. and now it is time to do it again.  Ouch.  They go on, I am happy to see them being led by His Faithful Hand.. and I am happy I have had the chance to expand my heart, even if it hurts. So, this summer will be a surprise I am sure... I am wide Open Lord.... I ask for YOUR blessings.  I pray for a few friends to join me on the sailboat... some to go to the beach with... ice cream stops.... ho...

How thankful I am to feel the warm spring breezes blow through the house today....Oh how tired I have grown of the coldness. I know, it wasn't as intense as they have had out west or in the Northeast, but it was still more bitterly cold than I am use to and I was getting weary of the cold days. Trees and bushes are starting to bloom...it is so pretty. I love Spring. A few years ago, a friend of mine gave me a note on the first day of Spring; I don't think I have stopped before that day to notice the official first day of Spring but it loved the thought - winter is OVER and NEW Life is bursting forth!!! Time to celebrate Easter - Our Risen Lord has conquered Death!!! What a WONDERFUL TIME OF YEAR!!! Old things are made NEW! Yes!! So, I want to be more mindful of this time of year; anyone want to have a SPRING PARTY? I had a good day today; little things made it nice - waking up early, enjoying the morning sky, rollerblading with Sasha, meeting a friend for coffee - ha...

I dedicate this to my dear friends, The Lipscombs. These friends of mine are walking through some of the darkest days of suffering. - I love you guys and am praying for you! This song reminds me of the beautiful Truth God has been teaching me through Isaiah 41:10. So many times when we go through something hard, or a struggle or something just slams us to the ground and knocks the spiritual breath out of us - our adamic nature begins to look over our shoulder and say, "who is responsible for this? or why did this happen? or is this for REAL?" Blaming, seeking a solution or resolution, the "why did this happen" question can kill us - because there are no answers. It is natural for us to seek resolve for our hurts and painful "holes" - we have to plug them up so they aren't so gaping and vulnerable.... We do this with all sorts of things - doctrine, reasoning, or physical things such as possessions, relationships, substances: but Jesus designed ...

The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. Proverbs 4:18 A friend of mine shared this verse with me many years ago, since then it has become one of my treasured verses. Jesus said in John 10:10 that he came to bring not just life, but abundant life! This morning, my heart has been full of thanksgiving for God's obvious abundant provision for me. These tender feet of mine have covered some difficult terrain over the past few years of my journey and at times it seemed i felt the harshness would do me in, my soul was downcast and the dark clouds loomed over my heart and head. I must confess at times i found it hard to say " God is good"and  hope was far from my heart but i am experiencing a time of refreshing.  I sense his pleasure as I step into the turn in my journey, I am in the right place. I think "life abundant" doesn't consist of comfortable pillows and cozy walkways, but of growing i...

I am back in the classroom! You know, a few days ago i had a dream in which my father had a surprise for me...and the look on his face told me it was a good surprise, i felt that wonderful bubbly anticipation of the gift that was coming...i woke with the sensation still in my heart - obviously, my Heavenly Father has wonderful things for me and i believe this dream was from the Lord to remind me of the Joy He has in giving to us....I am reminded of the passage that speaks of God's love for his children and the joy he has in giving good gifts to them! Being back in the classroom is one of those gifts...last fall i taught in the same classroom as a long-term substitute. It was a tough semester but by the end the Lord brought me through and i left with a genuine love for my students. This window opened back up for me and i have a sweet joy in stepping back in! Plus, it paves the way for me to prepare for the move in June....How wonderful!

As at the end of each year i reflect on the overall "theme" of what God illuminated to my heart, i also look to see what "Shouts" at me in the beginning of the year! A few weeks ago, as our worship team was practicing a new song, the phrase "the year of jubilee" seemed to jump off the page to me. That phrase settled in my brain the next few days with the tune of the song and i began to proclaim, "This is MY year of Jubilee!" Today the message the pastor spoke on was the Year of Jubilee! My ears perked up, what was God going to show me today? My brain began to tick away on the deeper meaning of "Jubilee" as i listened to the message...and a realization popped up! THIS IS MY YEAR OF Jubilee....literally! Every seven years the nation of Israel were to allow the land to rest, to return what they had borrowed, to restore land that belonged to you, to release servants - it was a Year full of restitution! Returning, restoring, releasi...